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Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Athletics day 2



“Lele” said my mum, It was my race and I had been surprised because my mum has never seen me run before. I have always been energized since the day I was born. Even Though I would be challenging fast people I would always say “NEVER GIVE UP”. “uh oh it’s my race again” NO!! I’m vs my arch enemy Isaia. So I ran as fast as I could then I won.“WAIT WHAT I ACTUALLY BEAT HIM”. Alright so I ran to the principle and she tallied up the points.

Great it’s finished and in the lead was Benghazi and Tripoli then last but not least was Tobruk.


At the end my mom was over reacting. She was so surprised and excited I thought from then on I would never stop running again. 3,2,1 "NEVER GIVE UP".

23 comments:

  1. Thanks for your feedback everyone!!!!!

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  2. I like the way you used the word arch enemy

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  4. I love your story havea.I like the way you used dialog.and I like the way you used A tongan word in your story.

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  5. This is such an interesting story Havea! I loved every second of reading it. I liked the way you used the punctuation in the correct places and this enhanced the meaning of your story. I also loved how you used some fantastic describing words to captivate the interest of your audience. One little things that I missed reading was... What was your mum's reaction when you win. I would love you to add that detail to your story.

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  6. I like how you have used dialogue and your story sounds amazing love it good job

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  7. Good morning Havea I loved this story and all of this could you please do it all the time because i want to be inspired by your writings and your mindset good job.
    by Michael.F thank you for making me inspired by your work.

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  8. I really like how you did it short and not that long.I have a suggestion you should add a little bit more interesting words.

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  9. I like the way how you express your feelings.

    I have a suggestion maybe nextime make your story a bit more interesting

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  10. Hi Havea. I liked the way I like how you started with dialog it was very great how you wrote lele said my mum. I have a suggestion at the beginning you should put what lele means on the side on it.

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  11. Great work havea that was pretty great i like that way you said arch enemy and detail that was a very nice.

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  12. Hi Havea

    I really like how you used detail dialogue and how you made sure that your story made sence

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  14. sup havea. i liked hwo you used heaps of dialogue

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  15. i like the way you use dialogue in your story and i like the way you made your story interesting.

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  16. good work havea i like your togan languege

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  17. nice work havea!!really good keep it up

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